Retaking my piece of the internet
retake verb [T] (GET BACK)
to take something such as a place or position into your possession again, often by force, after losing possession of it.
—Cambridge Dictionary
Before the dehumanizing term we proudly call “personal branding” existed, the internet was a colorful, expansive, exciting campus picnic ground. People were writing blogs, tweeting nonsense, recording low-quality song covers, and posting heavily filtered photos.
If people like what you do, they’d drop a “nice” or a thumbs up. If they don’t, they’d go “meh” and move on to their own rabbit holes. It was a mess, but it’s a beautiful one.
And that was how I participated in the internet back in 2007 when I was just in 5th grade. All I cared about was the theme for my blog, banners for my Friendster page, and what song to tweet #nowplaying with.
This joyful mindset was also the key for me. I could start my own web radio back in junior high, or start a band with my friends. Because we didn’t care about image or perception or “market value.”
Nowadays, people just seem so anxious when creating stuff. Some are worried about the audio quality of their song covers. Some overthink their grammar in their blog posts or tweets. Others could retake hundreds of the same pic to ensure perfection in their carousels.
As for me, I was always worrying about the subtle animations, mouse effects, and other easily overlooked elements when building a UX portfolio.
I purchased irfankurnia.com back in high school when I finally had enough money to buy something online. I had to admit, the purpose was to flex to my friends who still use Blogger or WordPress subdomains. But that was about it. It’s never about personal image or branding or anything commercial.
Throughout the years, the content of this site was primarily my blog. Other than that, I might have explored some cool and tacky widgets to embed on my site. It’s fun to embed the things you love, like obvious clocks, calendars, or music players.
And then, once I started working as an actual radio show host, the purpose changed. The site was primarily a “portfolio” containing my headshots, charged-up “about me” paragraphs written using heavy use of grammar checkers and spiced-up templates.
It got too obvious once I graduated from college and started working as a UX researcher. My site is no longer “mine” in some sense. It belongs to the recruiters, managers, and “stakeholders.”
Today, I decided to take back my piece of the internet. Because in this economy, what semi-glorious thing can I leave behind other than a digital piece of me?
To be clear, I’m not doing this to alienate people who come to see my work. I still need work to pay my bills after all. It’s just that I want my site to be alive again. I want to write freely (like what I’m doing now) and post it on the internet without anxiously waiting for what people might think about my thoughts.
So, if you’re here to read, welcome! If you’re a design manager who clicked this site after seeing my resume, please find the “Projects” menu on the top right of your screen to see my work. The about page is no longer about who I am as a UX professional but rather who I am as a person.